The September of My Years

Anyone who knows me well, knows that I love Frank Sinatra. If you’ve been in my car or sat next to me at work, chances are you heard Frank Sinatra playing in the background. My earliest memories of hearing Frank Sinatra’s music came from my uncle Bill, who was married to mother’s older sister, Aunt Ruby. Their house was the place our family always gathered for summer picnics, birthday celebrations, Christmas parties, and just about any other reason we could find for being together and enjoying each other’s company. The one constant throughout all those years, and all the get togethers, was the playing of Frank Sinatra music in the background. Uncle Bill loved all the great jazz singers of that era, including the Mills Brothers, Bing Crosby, Tony Bennett, and Nat King Cole to name a few. But above all he loved Frank Sinatra. And although he loved listening to his music, it was singing it that brought him and us the most joy. So much so that it became a tradition in our family for Uncle Bill to be the wedding singer of choice when his nieces and nephews were married.

I’m sure Uncle Bill must have owned almost every Sinatra record that was in existence at that time. Which is why one of my most treasured possessions is a handful of Uncle Bill’s Frank Sinatra records that were passed on to me by Aunt Ruby when he passed away in 1990. The title song from one of those records has become perhaps my most favorite of all Frank Sinatra songs, September of My Years. It was specifically written for Frank Sinatra in 1965 as he was about to celebrate his 50th birthday. Coincidentally, 1965 is the same year I made my entry into the world.  For me, September of My Years is Sinatra at his absolute best. The slow, melancholy tone of Frank’s voice, combined with the stirring orchestral arrangements, evoke strong emotions of loss and regret for the listener. These emotions just ooze from Sinatra’s voice as he loses himself in the song and invites the listener into his own internal struggle to deal with the inevitable process of aging.

Although September of My Years was always one of my favorite Frank Sinatra songs, it was not until I myself turned 50 in 2015 that it began to take on a special significance in my life. I found that hitting the half century mark had a way of forcing me to acknowledge that my own days were beginning to dwindle down to a precious few and that I would not be here forever. Like Sinatra, I too experienced much regret for not having paused in my younger days to more fully appreciate all of life’s special moments because I was too busy pursuing things that I thought would bring me happiness and contentment. And like Sinatra, my sorrow was also mixed with joy when I realized that age had already given me a new set of eyes, and a fresh perspective on life that was just not possible in my 20’s or 30’s. Age and experience had taught me that happiness and contentment are most often found in the simple things of life that I often neglected in my youth. And the years have had a way of mellowing and seasoning me so that I now take the time to slow down and enjoy every moment of life and delight in all the good gifts that God has given me.

But despite being well into the September of my years in 2018, I still find myself having to continually resist the temptation to jump back on that treadmill that I ran so well on in the days of my youth. It’s so easy to do and there are so many seemingly good things that are vying for my time and attention. But the great thing about age is that it will more often than not knock you off that treadmill from time to time just as you are about to find yourself headed down that same dangerous path. So, as I confidently approached my 53rd birthday last week in full swing and as busy as ever, that old nemesis the flu decided to pay me a visit and brought me to my knees with one, swift knockout punch.  And as I lay dazed and confused in my bed wondering what had just happened, I realized the Lord had once again orchestrated an intervention to remind me of what really matters in my life – deepening my intimacy with Him and taking the time to appreciate and enjoy all of His blessings.

Today, I am happy to report that I’m feeling much better thanks to plenty of rest and a round of antibiotics.  I look forward with anticipation to resuming my normal busy schedule on Monday and getting back to the work that God has called me to do. No doubt, it will only take a few hours, or more likely, a few minutes, before I feel the usual temptation to put on my running shoes and get back on the treadmill. So, I ask myself questions like, “How will it be any different this time?” or, “How will I prevent myself from falling back into the same old trap?”

If I’m honest with myself, I know that it will be no different this time. I know that I will be right back on that treadmill in no time flat once I walk into the office on Monday. Because I know that this is just who I am and how I am wired. I know that I am driven to achieve and succeed at everything I do, often to the point of becoming obsessed, and then exhausted. And more importantly, I know why I am the way I am, and why I do the things I do. And for me, this is the essence of what it means to be in the September of your years. It means that you now know who you are after all the long years of blindly rushing through life in the hope of eventually finding your identity.  It also means that you know your strengths and weaknesses, and you know how to manage both so that your work and relationships thrive.  In short, to be in the September of your years means that you are now a fully self-aware individual who is intimately familiar with all of his flaws and knows how to keep them in check so that he can flourish in community and fulfill his God-given purpose in life. 

So, if you should happen to see my driving to work on Monday morning, there’s a good chance you might see me singing along with Frank as I listen to “September of My Years.”  This has become sort of a tradition for me around the time of my birthday since joining the Big 5-0 club.  But there will be no wistful tone in my voice, or longing in my soul for all the years that have gone by. But only a smile on my face, and a profound sense of joy in my heart that I am now well into the golden, warm September of my years.